I'm drive I can fine osifer
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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