Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
