Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
