I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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