I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
