Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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