oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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