So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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