Redeem this text for a blowjob
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
