We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
