Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
