First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
