clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You're a waste of cheezeits
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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