oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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