i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
