I must be too annoying 4 u.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
