Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
