Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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