You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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