god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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