just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
