Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
