thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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