she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He better not be in your backpack
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
