I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
