we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
