Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
