i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
