The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
