when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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