you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize