so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
