Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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