2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
