Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
