i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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