u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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