i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
