I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
