I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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