I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
