Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
