You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
