I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
