how can u be prego again
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
