I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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