U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
