Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
