I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
