Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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