Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
