you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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