I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
how drunk are you?
Several
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
