im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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