Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
