I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
